The Struggle To Face Reality

I gave up eating "furry" meat many years ago. For me, that meant I only ate poultry and seafood. In my mind, I felt a connection with furry animals, like cows, pigs, etc... I didn't feel the same way about chickens, turkeys, fish. I lived a good portion of my life like that. If I'm honest with myself, I'd have to say that it really didn't make much sense, and a part of me was feeling a little "off" about my compassion for the furry critters, while I munched on the others. I didn't really want to look at it in depth. I mean, if I really looked at it, what would I eat?
After spending the last 23yrs in Arizona, I moved to OHIO of all places. Since my situation allowed it, I decided to take some time off from work and really focus on myself. This sounded great to begin with. The reality of it was something quite different than what I imagined. Suddenly I had time to really "think" and "feel" the reality of life. I'm a Pisces! Reality can be a real struggle sometimes.
In my slowed down world, I started reading, cooking, grocery shopping, and spending time with my dog, Guinness.
While I was at the grocery store one day, I was standing in front of the meat section staring at the chicken, and suddenly, in my slowed world, I FELT pain, and smelled death. This is where I began to realize that I had not been living my life consistent with how I felt deep inside.
I began doing some research on factory farming, forcing myself to read this horrifying information, and yes, watch the videos.I gave myself many headaches from all of the crying. I'm not talking about a one day event. This was weeks of really reading, watching, feeling, and weeping.